Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Day 30! Rah-Tard Univ. Graduate Here

I know damn well you didn't think I was going to let my 30th Day come and go without some sort of celebratory post, now did you? 

Yeah, by now you probably have noticed I cannot keep my mouth shut that long!  Hell, last week I made more noise with laryngitis and a sinus infection than a bunch of cackling old hens on their fourth glass of  Carlo Rossi Wine, watching [the movie] Waiting To Exhale, all the while out talking one another, about how fine they were in their hay day.

Let my bragging rights begin!  I am 30 days into this lifestyle and if you care to have read any of my earlier posts you know I have been through a few hoops, and even have had an epiphany or two along the way; but all the while maintaining and persevering.  That is what has gotten me here to this day -- the BIG 3-0.  And honey child let me say, I am grinning from ear to ear with excitement.  Not because I have lost a record breaking amount of weight, not because my clothes are fitting a tad bit loser; those are only benefits of my new lifestyle.  I am excited because I have made a commitment to myself that I have not faltered.  I am proud of myself, even as I sit here now updating this post, I take notice that my posture is a bit taller and my chin is held a little bit higher.  Self worth is priceless!

Now let's be real shall we? I am an card carrying  Ivy League Graduate of the Rah-Tard University located in any place where I happen to show up.  Only can an Ivy League Graduate manage to earn yet another Degree from such an epic fail!  My epic fail of BIG 3-0 day was conceived on day 29; thus was the day I went on an "insanity walk."  What is an insanity walk?  Well it starts off like this: Your fat still out of shape ass laces up your walking shoes and hits the pavement as fast as the friction between your thighs will allow you to go without making you airborne.  Prior to the insanity walk, you do not warm up, stretch or even create a pace for yourself.  You just get out there and go! Oh and I do mean go, try to out walk fast moving cars if you can.  Now if you are an Ivy League Graduate of the Rah-Tard University such as myself, you will earn a degree the next day.  3rd Degree pain!  That's right I am sitting here with an iced ankle because I twisted it somehow.  In retrospect I see where stretching, and warming up should have come into play.  I don't need to move faster than cars, motorcycles hell or even other walkers -- wish I had thought of this yesterday.

Oh well, at least I earned another Degree! At the rate I'm going I will be the honorary Dean of Admissions very soon!  Hey it's my BIG Day 3-0, what more can I say.


Say it loud, I'm proud, proud, proud, proud, proud!!!!

1 comment:

  1. First of All, congrats! You are doing so well!! I LOVE your honest and direct approach. Keep it up, girl!


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