Sunday, January 22, 2012

I Sexed Up Mr. Juan Valdez!

I have been drinking my daily coffee since I was a mere toddler right outta the bottle!  That's right, call it what you want; but Damn Mister Juan Valdez has a special place in my life!

If I do not have my morning and late afternoon coffee I become an incoherent, lethargic, raging woman with the tolerance of a suicide bomber who has just been instructed to declared Jihad!  With that being said I have yet to, and do not plan on giving up my Java!  If I do the only thing I can do is warn you to take immediate cover as I am probably one straw break from total fiery storm of hell.

Coffee to me is like Crack to an Addict.  I NEED my fix, without it I face severe withdrawal symptoms including: headache, lack of the ability to focus, shivers, stomach ache, depression, tense, aggression and that yearning burning ever so desire to get some COOOFFEEEE!

So as I sit here recharging my mood (at 6:00 p.m.); I am perched at my laptop less than a foot away from my comfort zone (coffee pot), with a nice fresh cup of Pure Colombian Coffee in my glass.  I started to wonder what benefits or hindrances coffee may or may not have on my health, lifestyle, and weight loss journey.

Here is what I came up with:


FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH: Coffee is rich in antioxidants like chlorogenic acid and melanoidins. Antioxidants help prevent oxidation, a process that causes damage to cells and contributes to aging.

Armor Against Tequila Shots and Jager Bombs: Prevention of Liver Cirrhosis.  Coffee drinking may protect against liver cirrhosis, especially alcoholic cirrhosis.

Remember A Bunch of Shit!:  Regular coffee drinking may help to protect against Alzheimer's disease. Recent study [5] in mice showed that caffeine equivalent to 5 cups of coffee per day reduced the build up of destructive plaques in the brain. Caffeine in coffee is a well-known stimulant. Coffee promotes alertness, attention and wakefulness. The cup of coffee can also increase information processing.

A Stronger Heart!: For women, coffee may mean a lower risk of stroke. In 2009, a study of 83,700 nurses enrolled in the long-term Nurses' Health Study showed a 20% lower risk of stroke in those who reported drinking two or more cups of coffee daily compared to women who drank less coffee or none at all. That pattern held regardless of whether the women had high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, and type 2 diabetes.

More Bathroom Reading Time:  Drink a lot of coffee and you may head to the bathroom more often. Caffeine is a mild diuretic -- that is, it makes you urinate (and poop) more than you would without it.

Chemicals: Over 1,000 chemicals have been reported in roasted coffee, and 19 are known rodent carcinogens.

Heart Disease: Possible increased risk of cardiovascular disease; increased heart rate; irregular heart beat

Scared Shitless?: Increased anxiety (Don't start none, won't be none!)

Sleepless Nights: Increased insomnia (Sleep is my hobby not seeing this issue at all)

Bitchiness: Increased irritability (Commonly experienced but I blame that on the bitchassness of other people and not my coffee addiction, unless of course I do not get my coffee then that's another issue.)

Birth Control: Affects fertility in women (I am thinking this should be on the PRO list)
Bone Disease: Possible increased risk of osteoporosis in post-menopause women. (Cross this bridge when I get to it, but as far as I know it is genetic.)
Soooo based on all the clinical data I have posted above, and all the clinical data I have read and not recorded in this blog my answer is simple; I will continue my Fated Relationship with Mr. Juan Valdez no matter his impact; he and I are made for one another.  Without him I am a case study for a group of psychology students trying to find the answer to the meaning of life!


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