Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Meat Heads Welcome Me

As I do the Fred Sanford - Diddy Hop around my house this morning with two very sore thighs.  I know that in just 2 short hours I have to do it all over again.  For the love of losing weight, maintaining my health and getting tone and totally fit I have hired one of my Metro Area's well known trainers to Kevorkian my fat.  I know if I had not been previously working out with a weight routine I would be in far worse shape.  But for now the slight discomfort and pimp walk accompanying it is worth the fight. 

Let me first say I rarely travel to the "Meat Head" side of my gym, I opt for the "Pansy Side Instead."  Yesterday he drug me over to the Meat Head side and began with my legs.  What did he have me do?  Squats!!! Yes Squats, do you know how much Squats hurt?  Try this 3 sets of 15 at 50lbs of weight on top of the 185lbs I already carry on with my legs.  Yeah just what I thought.  I must say sweat was not the only liquid pouring from my face.  I really wanted to cry, like seriously cry!!!!

After standing Squats, was laying push ups at 50lbs 3 sets of 15 followed by 3 sets of 30 calf presses -- "KNEES LOCKED," he kept yelling.  Yeah that mofo yelled at me for real!  Should I also now mention that he is a former Airforce Sargent; exactly my point.  I am in some serious trouble!   Last was hamstrings, which equaled a weight bar at 40lbs pulling up with only my hamstring muscles, "KEEP YOUR KNEES LOCKED" he yelled over, and over again in his Drill Sargent voice.

And after all the abuse on what I coin the "Meat Head" side of the gym he sent me to the Pansy Floor, you know where the treadmills, ellipticals and bikes are located.  Put me on the treadmill and instructed me to "run like the police were chasing me," (no joke he actually said that.)   Since I am not afraid of the police I casually strolled.  Then turned around and who was standing there barking more orders.  Him -- "you were strolling like you were in the mall, I want more from you."

So after many years of fostering my beliefs against man on woman violence I am not only a victim but I am paying this guy to beat the shit out of me?  What in the fuck am I thinking?  Oh well 1hour 51 mins before I return for my cataclysmic ass kicking!


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