I ALMOST Gave Up Today

I almost gave up today.  What do I expect of one week of diet and exercise a fucking miracle?

There is no way in hell I can go from my current size / weight and measurements in one week to a drastically new me without the enlistment of Dr. 90210.  And because I cannot afford his surgical miracles, nor do I think I would survive the needles, pokes, prods, injections, suctions or incisions -- I guess will just stick to this diet.

Like I said, I almost gave up today, but hell almost doesn't count!

My Refusal

I refuse ... to be the lazy mom who commands the play but does not participate because of weight issues.  

I refuse ... to be the dog owner who's dogs simply mill around the yard.  

I refuse to be the person who looks in a naked mirror and almost pukes at her own reflection.

So.... I refuse to quit ... 

#NoQuitterHere 

With that being said I will do some stretches, hit the shower, and then the bed.....

#G-Nite!

Motivation

Everything I do begins and ends with a level of motivation -- I know you thought I was superwoman didn't you! 

So I today after merely one week of successful diet changing, adding a substantial amount of exercise to my life and a few blog postings I asked myself, "self what is your motivation to continue?" (Thus during a hungry trip to the grocery store.)  And then, it hit me!  Like some cosmic force of supernatural gravity my arm slowly brushed against something soft, slightly round and a little bit pillow-like.  A bag of Marshmallows? Nope fat lingering on my right side!

In an adrenaline filled, heart racing panic -- not only did I grab some cauliflower and broccoli to cut into florets for lunch tomorrow; I picked up my walking pace just a bit convinced I can turn any non sitting position into something that will be mutually beneficial to my health and my long term goal.
 
My Fat is My Motivation.  Whats yours?

MOTIVATION!

Week # 2 Officially Begins Today

Just woke up (overslept of course) and have no time to get my morning exercise in because I need to hurry off and get to work.  I'm kind of bummed about it.  Yesterday I did manage to cut my huge back yard with the push mower (I opted not to use the rider), then mowed the front.  Since I no longer have a weed whacker instead I got down on my hands and knees and pulled all the weeds from my flower beds.  That in itself was about a three hour sweat fest.  Then after my shower and dinner of baked chicken and a few pieces of broccoli; and about a hour and a half of rest; I leashed up the dog, grabbed my Baby Jogger for the 3 year old and off we went for a two mile evening walk.  After my walk I managed to have 3 glasses of Chardonnay (VERY BAD CHOICE of which I am currently feeling the results of.) 

This week for me will be about maintaining the good path I started last week and making better choices.  I plan to add a few things this week:

1. Eliminate Wine in the evenings -- I will save that for my weekends. 
2. Go to bed before 10:30pm or at minimum by 10:30pm --I read an article this morning that reminded me sleep helps with good health and weight loss.
3. Using my dumbbells  I'm using this site as a guide http://www.sport-fitness-advisor.com/dumbbellexercises.html

I'm not going to go overboard with new stuff, baby steps are fine with me. 

Well Bom Dia to you, I need to get to work.  Happy Monday!


B.

Yummy In My Tummy

Eatting Carb free does not have to be boring or distasteful at all for me.  Here are some of the things I had for dinner last week. 

Asparagus - Pan Sauteed in 1/2 Tsp. of Butter and 1 Tsp. of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  Seasoned lightly with Garlic Powder and Thyme.  Yumm Yum

Flat Grilled Skinless Boneless Chicken Breast - Marinated 10 mins in Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  Basil, Garlic Water, Garlic Powder, Sea Salt, Ground Pepper Corns.  Flat Grilled to succulent perfection.  -- (I actually topped a quick Italian blend salad that night and took the other for lunch the next day.  -- Salad Romain, Roma Tomatoes Chopped, Vidalia Onion, Cucumber, Crushed Red Pepper.)

Garlic Roasted Chopped Spinach, Wok Style- Fresh Garlic Minced and seared in lemon pepper, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Topped with Frozen Chopped Spinach tossed in the Wok. Delicious!

  

Mussels in Garlic White Wine Sauce- 1lb of Fresh Mussels, 1 Tsp. Garlic, 1Tsp. Butter, 2Tsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil, 1 Cup of Mondavi Chardonnay.  Pan Simmered to Perfection!  This was a lovely meal, I accompanied it with raw cauliflower florets. 

Book: Don't Diet, Just Think And Get Thin (by George Diamond)

I see George all the time.  Professionally he is one of my Vendors which by the way is totally unrelated to this blog.  Personally he is one of those guys who you always can count on to be the same kinda guy.  Positive.  On His Toes.  And, Innovative.  George worked hard to loose weight, he found his way through what he describes in his book "Don't Diet, Just Think and Get Thin."  


Now let me be the first to admit:   #1 I have one of the first hot of the press copies autographed by George in my office totally untouched and unread.  and #2 My main reason for not yet reading the book is, well I was in the middle of a torrid relationship with John Grisham at the time.  


But at minimum, I thought if anyone decides to read this blog perhaps you will gain from his book.  It can be purchased through his website or on Amazon.com.  Now I am not promoting or endorsing something I have not tried or read; so I am not posting links to purchase pages but just some info for those who care. 

www.dontdietjustthink.com

The Art of Getting Off My Fat ASS, AKA "Exercise"

Upping the fat burning game I have incorporated into my new daily lifestyle the art of getting off my fat ass, aka "exercise". Now I'm no fool so I didn't join a gym and get myself into a pricey commitment only to look at skinny people entranced with IPODs and gadgets working away the little sweat they can muster up on the treadmill, elliptical or whatever latest greatest equipment. 

I am taking advantage of the things I currently own. So each morning I have started out with 30 minutes on the recumbent bike; this is about a 3 mile ride, give or take. Each evening I (take advantage of the summer air) toss my daughter into the super awesome baby jogger, my super awesome Boss gave me (ps. note the name "Jogger") leash up the dogs and walk no less than 3 miles. And I must say I feel absolutely amazing; and this is only week one. I also remembered today that I own 10lb dumbells so tomorrow I will start using those, and in my house I have stairs, so investment into a pricey stair master machine required.

I am starting to realize how simple it is to get in shape and stay in shape. The metamorphis of my Fat Girlness is occuring.

I sincerely hope you are enjoying my journey, perhaps it will encourage you. I am not doing this to fit into a dress, bikini or for an event. I am doing this for Me.  Remember if you don't love yourself, other people cannot love you.

Gnite! Hugs, Kisses, and Fat Burning Dreams!

Completed A full week CARB FREE

Today officially marks my first full week of being carb free!  Congratulations to me.  I won't be the Fat Lady Singing that's for sure.  

A Fucked Up Thought Process -- My Intro

I LOVE MEN! I especially love my black men (well I used to but that is another blog posting and blog site all together).  Anyway for years I have governed myself under the guise that Black Men LOVE BIG THINGS.  Big Cars, Big Chains, Big Rims, oh and BIG WOMEN.  I use to watch the Bigga Sistas in the mall with their little skinny men while I sat chomping on some food court Chinese food or french fries, thinking to myself "see look at them I can eat whatever I want; as long as the stores have clothes to fit my fat ass."  And this was the beginning of some dumb ass thinking on my part. 

I have never been skinny I was a chunky kid.  I have never been denied any meal I wanted; my father would take me to whatever restaurant I desired from Chinese Food to Five Star Steak Houses.  And please believe me I ate VERY WELL.  Neither of my parents were much of chef's my mother's version of cooking is wrapping anything in a foil ball and putting it on bake 350 degrees for about 1hr 30 mins and viola its dinner time.  My Father on the other hand would re fry beans, make pigs feet, hog mogs and all kinds of back woods slave food; none of which pleased my palate.  Sooooo I learned to cook (and if I do say so myself I would give Patty Labelle a GOOD run for her money on a Christmas Dinner). 

Well 3 years ago I was 5 sizes smaller then I got knocked up.  After I had my daughter I was even 2 sizes smaller than I was before I was pregnant it was miraculous (so if you do the math I was 7 sizes smaller than I am today).  But why in the fuck did I think eating white rice every day and candy bars would maintain my curvy figure?  Dumb I guess.  Oh well like I said "A Fucked Up Thought Process".  As I still do today then I had an auction style lot of men knocking down my door (like I told you before I love men) anyway the fat didnt bother me; hell it didn't bother them.  I guess I figured as long as I have a man I'm still desirable -- Again (A Fucked Up Thought Process).

This time my motivation came from looking at my friend who is about 75lbs heavier than me and it grossed me out.  Then pictures of back fat.  I don't want back fat.  And almost getting cellulite or dimples -- That shit really grossed me out.  So now I'm retraining myself, I'm teaching myself to think differently, I'm reshaping my mind to reshape my body -- and that my readers is what this blog is about.  Reshaping my mind to reshape my body.

On any given day I wake up at 5:00am and drink coffee after coffee after coffee  for 2 hours just sitting on my fat ass surfing the news on the net or industry related websites and topics.  I guess I should mention I am really into reading.  Well on June 19, 2011 I changed my mind.  I went to my favorite greasy spoon.  Ordered up a Mexican Pizza (deep fried tortilla shell with ground beef, cheese, pico de gallo, sour cream, jalapenos, re fried beans and a Mexican Sandwich with Beef and Chicken -- enough food for 4 people) that was loaded also beans, rice, cheese, ranchero sauce, guacamole, and a BIG ASS POP.  After I ate I was comatose.  I couldn't walk to the register to pay, I fell asleep as soon as I drove 5 blocks home.  Lets call this ROCK BOTTOM.  I won't name the place because I am not promoting it but, the food is really good fat food.

I woke up from my nap walked passed the mirror naked and thought GROSS PUKE UGGGG SOOOOO I decided the next day I would do what I know works and decided to KICK THE CARBS.  And with kicking the carbs comes reforming the mental.  I am pretty sure somewhere along the line a spiritual mental will occur also but for now lets just work on my fat thoughts. 

So today is Thursday June 23, 2011.  By this time next year I will be half my current size and you know what life is good so I am patient.  In this journey I am embracing good health, a positive mental balance and whatever other challenges come my way I will too conquer. My reader(s) follow me this will be a process but talking about it will really help.

And so this blog begins:  I am currently 5ft TALL (don't you dare call me short or I will kick you where the sun doesn't shine).  I am approx 220lbs a size 18-20 in womens and size 2xl shirt; and to me these are the most disgusting measurements EVER.  I wear a 40 DD bra (probably because of the fat) I have a 42 inch hip line and I think my waist is a 38; although I have had no formal measurements taken. 

On Monday I kicked the carbs; TOTALLY this week breakfast has started (I never ate breakfast before work in my life) so this week has been 2 boiled eggs.  Also I have gotten my fat ass on the recumbent bike for 30 mins in the morning but today I missed b/c I was a bit hung over from the wine I drank the night before and forgot to set my alarm clock. 

I hope you continue to read as I continue to write.  I am looking forward to reading back for myself not so much even thinking I will gain any readership.

Night, Hugs, Fat Burning Thoughts!

B.