Friday, January 27, 2012

Crimson Rage : Zero Personal Growth (This Week)

Confronting myself as I feel my inner rage kicking into over drive fueled by the Crimson Tide that comes to full surf once each month, I am reminding myself that my goals are more than weight loss but personal change.  Generally about this time each month  I am a complete lunatic, with verbal grenades dropping everywhere and armed with the rage of a Steroid Addicted Guido who didn't get to go tanning and cannot find the perfect rhinestone T-Shirt to go bag some DTF chicks.   (If you do not know this lingo watch 20 - 30 seconds of any episode of Jersey Shore and you will be fully fluent in Guido chatter; however watching a full episode may lead you to your nearest bar to fist pump and jager bomb the night away.)

Today I feel my patience level is about a 2 of 10, which means by the time I put on several layers of clothing to fight the blustery winter temperatures and battle the dumb assholes on the road, then drop my kid off at school I will be at a -5; and ready for war.  So watch out!

As much effort as I put into my outer I feel it is defeintly time to put some work into my inner.  I do not realize how much of a BITCH I am until I am hit with the Monthly Scarlett Letter.  Then I begin to wonder am I really this much of a bitch the other 25 days of each month?  My answer to myself is ... well, quite frankly, without question YES!  I think I have more power to control it when the Red Tide has ceased and my hormones and emotions are back in check. I find it far easier to shut the fuck up then.  So I ask myself: How do I change or channel this rage into a passion of another sort? Here are a few answers I came up with:

  1. Hire myself out as a Goon once each month to "take care of people's problems".
  2. Test Market Feminine Hygiene Products and send my results of not being able to wear white, ride a horse, bungee jump, or jog with friends comfortably.
  3. Hang out on school playgrounds and body slam bullies who fuck with nerdy kids.
  4. Test Guns for effectiveness for Smith & Wesson
  5. Come up with non-tactical, full out assault plans in case of a martial law outbreak.
  6. Bottle my rage and sell it to docile people on the Home Shopping Network. 
  7. Assist in demolition of vacant houses in urban areas with my bare hands. 
  8. Offer free PIMP SLAP and ROUND KICK services to wife's and girlfriends who think they have cheating spouses and significant others. 
  9. Share Stock Advice on which drug makers will have an influx in consumer purchases for the week.  (I suggest get some stock in whoever makes Midol THIS WEEK.)
  10. Give De-Sensitivity Training to the candy ass people walking around who cannot take a simple insult as negative criticism. 
For now let's just say I will have to revisit my "personal growth" next week.  This week I am strictly on rage-control; and in honor of such my Red Dress and Red (steel toe) shoes are most definitely in the wardrobe plan for today. 

Continue on your path toward weight loss, better health and a more prosperous lifestyle.  Do not let my stalemate set you back from any of your goals. 


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Meat Heads Welcome Me

As I do the Fred Sanford - Diddy Hop around my house this morning with two very sore thighs.  I know that in just 2 short hours I have to do it all over again.  For the love of losing weight, maintaining my health and getting tone and totally fit I have hired one of my Metro Area's well known trainers to Kevorkian my fat.  I know if I had not been previously working out with a weight routine I would be in far worse shape.  But for now the slight discomfort and pimp walk accompanying it is worth the fight. 

Let me first say I rarely travel to the "Meat Head" side of my gym, I opt for the "Pansy Side Instead."  Yesterday he drug me over to the Meat Head side and began with my legs.  What did he have me do?  Squats!!! Yes Squats, do you know how much Squats hurt?  Try this 3 sets of 15 at 50lbs of weight on top of the 185lbs I already carry on with my legs.  Yeah just what I thought.  I must say sweat was not the only liquid pouring from my face.  I really wanted to cry, like seriously cry!!!!

After standing Squats, was laying push ups at 50lbs 3 sets of 15 followed by 3 sets of 30 calf presses -- "KNEES LOCKED," he kept yelling.  Yeah that mofo yelled at me for real!  Should I also now mention that he is a former Airforce Sargent; exactly my point.  I am in some serious trouble!   Last was hamstrings, which equaled a weight bar at 40lbs pulling up with only my hamstring muscles, "KEEP YOUR KNEES LOCKED" he yelled over, and over again in his Drill Sargent voice.

And after all the abuse on what I coin the "Meat Head" side of the gym he sent me to the Pansy Floor, you know where the treadmills, ellipticals and bikes are located.  Put me on the treadmill and instructed me to "run like the police were chasing me," (no joke he actually said that.)   Since I am not afraid of the police I casually strolled.  Then turned around and who was standing there barking more orders.  Him -- "you were strolling like you were in the mall, I want more from you."

So after many years of fostering my beliefs against man on woman violence I am not only a victim but I am paying this guy to beat the shit out of me?  What in the fuck am I thinking?  Oh well 1hour 51 mins before I return for my cataclysmic ass kicking!


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Weighing (back) In : Fox 2 21 Day Weight Loss Challenge

View The Group on Facebook
As of this morning the Fox 2 21 Day Weight Loss Challenge is over 860 followers strong the and is in full swing, with the participants actively posting their recipe's, photos and commentary.  There is a bond of solidarity forming here, that even I as a pessimist of Social Media groups marvel; the unity is really uncanny.

When I first joined the Facebook group for the Fox 2 21 Day Weight Loss Challenge I did it really out of being a fan of the News Channel; (as we all know I think LeDuff, Perkins, and Isom reign supreme of the local news casters in my viewing area.)  I then began to interact in the group; just a bit because most of what I really want to say should not be said at all on facebook or any other social media website that can capture it forever and come back to haunt my ass in 10 years.   I eventually started paying further attention to what the group members were writing, how they are eating, exercising and encouraging each and made the selfless deduction that this group is pretty cool.  This group's conversational style postings kind of neutralize me on my soap box. 

When I first "Weighed In" on the Fox 2 21 Day Weight Loss Challenge on January 13, 2012 I will say I was not so impressed.  My initial feeling was that it was just another band wagon for people to jump on.  And we all know how the foremost excitement leads to lack luster appeal and then band wagon's tend to fizzle over time.  Remember how cool "Planking" was this past spring?  My point exactly!

Like I mentioned before the group has no social, economic or political barriers, yet everyone in the group shares a common interest of weight loss.  This in itself interests me.  I find myself identifying with some of the posters and others I want to band from internet use all together!  Since I eat with my eyes the photos the group members are posting of their meals and snacks are pretty cool.  Some make me salivate and others make me want to gouge my eyes out in pure disgust -- but to each their own.

All in all after two weeks of following this Facebook group I will repeat as I posted on the Groups page: "I really think this group is bringing together people who would not normally communicate with each other on a level so personal as weight loss.  Its important to be healthy that is something that EVERYONE regardless of Social Sector, Race, Religion, Political Beliefs etc. has in common and this forum has provided what I am viewing as a great tool for people to meet, help, support and encourage each other!!!"

PS. Don't Forget to Share This Blog on Facebook look in the upper right hand corner (Shamelessly Promoting I know!)


Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Momentary Backward Glance

With new readers and new subscribers I decided to look back on some of my favorite posts.  Since I declared Jihad on my Fat Ass back in May 2011; I must say though taking this weight loss fight to the internet was probably one of the smartest things I did. 

I am struggling every day to win this fight so Don't miss some of my favorite Archived Posts! Please continue to read and comment as your dialogue has been great!

6/23/2011 : A Fucked Thought Process -- My Intro: I LOVE MEN! I especially love my black men (well I used to but that is another blog posting and blog site all together).  Anyway for years I have governed myself under the guise that Black Men LOVE BIG THINGS.  Big Cars, Big Chains, Big Rims, oh and BIG WOMEN.  I use to watch the Bigga Sistas in the mall with their little skinny men while I sat chomping on some food court Chinese food or french fries, thinking to myself "see look at them I can eat whatever I want; as long as the stores have clothes to fit my fat ass."  And this was the beginning of some dumb ass thinking on my part... CLICK HERE TO READ MORE OF THIS ARCHIVED POST

June 28, 2011 : Motivation: Everything I do begins and ends with a level of motivation -- I know you thought I was superwoman didn't you ... CLICK TO READ MORE

July 2, 2011 : What Will I Miss About Being Fat?:   Each and every time I lose something I seem to miss something about it; no matter how strained the relationship.  So I am wondering what will I miss most about being Fat? .... CLICK HERE TO READ MORE OF THIS ARCHIVED POST!
 July 7, 2011 : Cheaters Suck!:  I don't cheat on my men (I keep a harem).  And I don't cheat on myself (I catch me all the time).  So why in the hell would I have the urge today to cheat on my new Diet (way of life) ... CLICK TO READ MORE

July 19, 2011 : Rahtard Univ. Graduate Here:
Now let's be real shall we? I am an card carrying  Ivy League Graduate of the Rah-Tard University located in any place where I happen to show up.  Only can an Ivy League Graduate manage to earn yet another Degree from such an epic fail! CLICK TO READ MORE

August 7, 2011 : Dosage One Mouthful of Reality: Well aren't we judgmental my little piggy...As one of those sistas for whom you must hold your puke, never judge another's struggle until you have walked a mile in her run over stilettos. I applaud your efforts here but you must know that at some point she, I - was you. At a 16W - 18W HATING my fat and swearing I would never get a pound larger! CLICK TO READ FULL POST
September 13, 2011 Spandex Plain and (not) So Simple: So I gathered up all my courage after doing a few tours at the gym and threw on the Spandex again. CLICK TO READ FULL POST

I hope you enjoy my postings and can find some motivation in them to reach your goals.  Remember find a way to support your fight; and then go full on and win!  Stay tuned as the best is yet to come!


I Sexed Up Mr. Juan Valdez!

I have been drinking my daily coffee since I was a mere toddler right outta the bottle!  That's right, call it what you want; but Damn Mister Juan Valdez has a special place in my life!

If I do not have my morning and late afternoon coffee I become an incoherent, lethargic, raging woman with the tolerance of a suicide bomber who has just been instructed to declared Jihad!  With that being said I have yet to, and do not plan on giving up my Java!  If I do the only thing I can do is warn you to take immediate cover as I am probably one straw break from total fiery storm of hell.

Coffee to me is like Crack to an Addict.  I NEED my fix, without it I face severe withdrawal symptoms including: headache, lack of the ability to focus, shivers, stomach ache, depression, tense, aggression and that yearning burning ever so desire to get some COOOFFEEEE!

So as I sit here recharging my mood (at 6:00 p.m.); I am perched at my laptop less than a foot away from my comfort zone (coffee pot), with a nice fresh cup of Pure Colombian Coffee in my glass.  I started to wonder what benefits or hindrances coffee may or may not have on my health, lifestyle, and weight loss journey.

Here is what I came up with:


FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH: Coffee is rich in antioxidants like chlorogenic acid and melanoidins. Antioxidants help prevent oxidation, a process that causes damage to cells and contributes to aging.

Armor Against Tequila Shots and Jager Bombs: Prevention of Liver Cirrhosis.  Coffee drinking may protect against liver cirrhosis, especially alcoholic cirrhosis.

Remember A Bunch of Shit!:  Regular coffee drinking may help to protect against Alzheimer's disease. Recent study [5] in mice showed that caffeine equivalent to 5 cups of coffee per day reduced the build up of destructive plaques in the brain. Caffeine in coffee is a well-known stimulant. Coffee promotes alertness, attention and wakefulness. The cup of coffee can also increase information processing.

A Stronger Heart!: For women, coffee may mean a lower risk of stroke. In 2009, a study of 83,700 nurses enrolled in the long-term Nurses' Health Study showed a 20% lower risk of stroke in those who reported drinking two or more cups of coffee daily compared to women who drank less coffee or none at all. That pattern held regardless of whether the women had high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, and type 2 diabetes.

More Bathroom Reading Time:  Drink a lot of coffee and you may head to the bathroom more often. Caffeine is a mild diuretic -- that is, it makes you urinate (and poop) more than you would without it.

Chemicals: Over 1,000 chemicals have been reported in roasted coffee, and 19 are known rodent carcinogens.

Heart Disease: Possible increased risk of cardiovascular disease; increased heart rate; irregular heart beat

Scared Shitless?: Increased anxiety (Don't start none, won't be none!)

Sleepless Nights: Increased insomnia (Sleep is my hobby not seeing this issue at all)

Bitchiness: Increased irritability (Commonly experienced but I blame that on the bitchassness of other people and not my coffee addiction, unless of course I do not get my coffee then that's another issue.)

Birth Control: Affects fertility in women (I am thinking this should be on the PRO list)
Bone Disease: Possible increased risk of osteoporosis in post-menopause women. (Cross this bridge when I get to it, but as far as I know it is genetic.)
Soooo based on all the clinical data I have posted above, and all the clinical data I have read and not recorded in this blog my answer is simple; I will continue my Fated Relationship with Mr. Juan Valdez no matter his impact; he and I are made for one another.  Without him I am a case study for a group of psychology students trying to find the answer to the meaning of life!


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Reflection : Realize, Confront, Fight, Win

In the beginning, well ya know there is always a beginning -- 

In February 2011 I took my Bra Issue to Twitter about not having any comfortable bra's suddenly.  Like I woke up one morning and none of my bra's fit properly.  Having almost always bought my undergarments at TJ Maxx or Marshalls I blamed the non-fit on them all being "irregular".  I was WRONG.  In April, after several failed bra purchases I was venting to Ebonee, my friend in D.C.; she suggested I go to Layne Bryant (a plus sized women's clothier) to get fitted properly which I did.  

I took a much dreaded trip to the mall where I got measured for new bras thinking maybe my breast size had changed.  Well guess what?  It did change and so did my circumference -- I was a 40 DD!!!! Having always been a 36 D that's what I was buying -- now ladies I know you know the discomfort level I am talking about by having an unfit bra.  However it was not the DD that shocked me it was the number 40!  This meant I had gained significant back fat, without notice. 

Maybe, just maybe it was my late night food binging, my excessive consumption of alcohol, my lack of exercise, and my adoration of snickers bars; or a combination of all of these that was the catalyst?  Or maybe I was just in denial.  Well after forking over $86.00 for only 3 bra's I said "Fuck This".  And instead of thanking the sales associate for helping me, I bid her farewell vowing to never shop in that store again.
The walk of shame out of the mall was my last.  I vowed at that very moment to KICK THIS FAT GIRLS ASS!!!!  Walking to my car, I felt defeated.  I looked at my reflection in the store window's and saw a fat fucker that looked like a beached whale with a double chin.  I didn't even recognize myself staring back at me.  Unknowing to me my self esteem had been at an all time low.  I was spiraling into a depression state right before my very own eyes, but life's little drama's were blinding me from seeing it.  It was that walk of shame out of the mall that opened my Eyes.

Which weight loss plan did I choose?  I embraced the Atkins Lifestyle and a full daily workout, it works well for me.  So today before you I stand -- 89 LBS Lighter.  Down from a size 24 Womens to a solid 12 Petite (I'm 5'0 tall) I still have a tough road ahead of me to continue. But as you know from my previous posts I confront myself, I fight myself and I win against myself. 

My advice to anyone struggling to lose weight, change their lifestyle or just to be healthier is to find something that is right for YOU and stick to it.  We are all not meant to be supermodel thin, however the excess weight is a drag on your pockets, your lifestyle, your social activities and your mental health.  So I wish you only the very best in achieving your goals.  As for me I am still KICKING THIS FAT GIRL'S ASS.


Friday, January 13, 2012

Weighing In On : Fox 2 News 21 Day Challenge

I cannot say I am overly excited or nearly as impressed as the 750+ other Facebook Group Members of the My Fox Detroit 2 21 Day Challenge.  In short the Facebook Group is described as "Join Fox 2's Deena Centofanti in a simple 21 day challenge designed help you lose 5 pounds in 21 days!" 

The Facebooker's joining the group seem to be all ages, races and from all walks of life all struggling with the same issue as myself and others -- they want to lose weight, eat better and become healthier.  However reading the posts it seems that while some are well on their way to their goals; others are pesimistically battling themselves and straight up losing.  Mind over matter people!  I want so badly to put some of these people in a room and reintroduce them to themselves.  

Up until May 2011, I was once like many of them.  Simply craving foods for the pure satisfaction the taste and chasing the "thanksgiving full" feeling in my tummy.  Not being able to pass up favorite candy bars in stores when I was hungry, eating shitty meals from restaurants you can drive through packed with preservatives, artificial flavorings and dipped in grease before being served to me in a paper envelope or wrapped in carefully manipulated thin wax paper.  By all rights and without retaliation someone should have round kicked me in the head for ever putting any of that bullshit in my mouth!

I remember being here.  But it didn't take much for me to get over the hump, I think having a breaking point and not a facebook group is what some of these people need. 

I do think this group is a good idea, it seems most people need a group setting to do something for themselves.  And whatever works for you, I say do it!  Well not everyone is as self motivated as they have written on their resume's I guess.  Myself partially included; while I do not deter from my eating lifestyle, I do tend to find countless excuses to not go and work out.  The hardest part for me is actually driving to the gym.  I am either really high strung on the roads, or a lazy driver and never quite "feel like" battling the traffic demons in my city.  However once I walk through the doors and see other people working out, the competetive little Bitch in me comes out and I go hard and challenge myself to push on. 

So I hope this challenge works out for at least 10% if not more of the people who have taken part, for their own personal satisfaction.  And I hope that at least 5% start a new healthier lifestyle. And I hope the remaining 85% turn into drive through restaurants and get off the road so I do not have to battle them in traffic on my way to the gym!


Got A COMMENT?  Say something below!!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Made Menu and FAILED!!!!

Ok, So I am taking part of the My Fox 2 Detroit 21 day challenge which partially encouraged me to create a menu and meal plan to follow for the week.  Additionally, it helped me through the grocery store epidemic which was previously a complete fiasco.

So, ok I won with the grocery shopping but FAILED with the first day of following my menu!  However I did NOT ingest any carbs! 


Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Grocery Store Epidemic

Since so many people ask me what do I eat (as if I am surviving on leaves and berries and shit) I am posting my menu plan for this week.   

Also, tomorrow morning is my scheduled weekly trip to the grocery store.  The grocery store to me is one of the 7 wonders of my world!  It's a fucking  labyrinth where you "start" with a hand full of coupons for stuff you never buy normally but you hold them tightly with your kung-fu grip as you make your way through the maze of aisles strategically designed with end caps to distract you from finding what you are looking for.  All the while you are trying to decipher which brand of what product to buy and simultaneously doing some sort of algebraic calculation in your head of which size is the better deal.

Once you have sucessfully found all your items you are then unleashed on the cashiers.  In my case, since I go early in the morning the cashiers are lifers (lifers = cashiers working at the same grocery store 15+ years).  

If you get into a Lifer's line you are pretty much FUCKED and DOOMED FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE!  As they scan each item they say it out loud, and then try to guess with a sure fire confidence what your are planning to cook: "oh you have broccoli and cream cheese, I bet you are making casserole!"  So now the otherwise quick-scan, bag, cash out process can take upwards of 10 minutes.

After you have forked over your coupons, savings club card, hard earned cash and your patience you are handed a winning pile of receipts, more coupons and told to have a nice day.  I CALL BULLSHIT -- Oh well a grocery shopping I will go!

Oh Well, Here is this week's menu!


No Thank You!!!!

No Thank You!!!! (To quote my daughter's par for the usual rant.) I am not interested in your advice because you wear spanx and body magic to look thinner and you are still FAT.

No Thank You, for your so called words of encouragement, because all they are is your defense mechanism against yourself -- which I think is brewing from some sort of fucked up childhood or upbringing you may have had.

No Thank You, to your fad diets and potions and pills and solutions and shakes.


Damn!  Really?  Ok, so again may I remind the masses and in particularly the solitary soul who continually perceives this as a cataclysmic race to get super skinny.  That same solitary soul who grossly misunderstands and thinks losing weight is the only goal here; who fails to realize that I have made a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!!! I am NOT ON A DIET!

I eat differently than you.  I work out daily, whether it is a trip to the gym, a hardcore aerobic class or an extreme house cleaning adventure. 

But what I really want to know is who died and deeded you the title of weight loss guru and extraordinaire?  No one!!!!  Please, to quote Rhianna "its over now, come on and take a bow".

I have been listening to this shit dribbling from her mouth for about 3 months and I am now totally exhausted of all patience! I can no longer hold my tongue.  So I bid her good luck with her race against time to get super model skinny, good luck with the pills and shakes and self indulgent one sided conversations with random strangers who have come to the same conclusion that you are bat shit crazy.

To my regular readers, I am having a ranting tantrum moment I just get sick of BULLSHITTERS and their ongoing saga's of BULLSHIT.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Her Big Butt Theory -- My Q & A with Blogger Stormy Bradley

Proud Mother, Wife, Educator and now add Blogger to her endless Resume of accomplishments and you have Stormy Bradley!   Her matter of fact approach to blogging clearly paints a picture of her life, goals, diet successes and set backs.  All while giving her readers (myself included) that gentle nudge that reminds us that we are all human and all trying to do something better of ourselves in one way or another. 

"Big Butt Theory; if I work it I will Shrink it."  I must admit the title of her blog alone first got my attention "Big Butt Theory", which as you can well imagine fits right into my sense of humor; and once I realized what a wealth of information she was I became a dedicated reader of her and began following Stormy on Twitter and Facebook. lets break into Stormy's Mind Shall We? 

What was your breaking point?  The moment when you said that’s it I am going to lose weight? 
 I have been struggling with my weight since I had my last baby in 2008. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror or how I was feeling.
What diet(s) have you tried in the past?  And what were your successes / failures with each one?
My 1st attempt ever I was using eDiets. Then I went to LA Weight Loss and Weight Watchers this was back in 2002-2003.  I went from 220 to 150. Then I started gaining the weight back after my grandmother died. Then I went thru a rough divorce. Then I fell in love, got married and had a couple more babies.
What type of diet / lifestyle do you follow now?
 I track my foods and exercise regularly...back to the basics...

What is the hardest part of your diet / lifestyle for you? 
Not eating out as much and resisting sweets offered by my hubby.
Do you regularly exercise?  If so what do you do? 
I have been on a exercise streak since my 40th bday on NOvember 28th. I do dancing, boxercising, and biggest loser on my wii. I also walk on my treadmill. In addition, I use exercise videos from Netflix.
Do you consume any alcoholic beverages?  If so do you find they hinder your weight loss? 
I barely drink so unless I am going out dancing I can manage.
What is your favorite outfit since you have lost weight? 
None yet... I am not at my goal weight yet.

Have you changed any other physical appearances about yourself? i.e. hair? Make up? Shoe choices? 
 I have colored my hair. I also finally got some Bare Minerals makeup. 
What is your favorite “diet” snack?
Fresh fruits...especially tangerines & bananas.

What is your weakness food or drink?
Cookie Dough Ice Cream

What do you do to motivate yourself when you are not motivated at all to continue on with your diet / lifestyle?
 Lately I use my blog followers and my blog challenge as my motivation. I don't wanna quit on anyone. Or embarrass  myself.  

How do you feel these days? 
I feel strong & optimistic. I am ready to conquer 2012 with a vengeance.
In general what advice do you offer to other people who want to lose weight or are battling with their weight loss?
 Get support.
 Build on your success.
Never quit.

Stormy has been been such a great motivator I encourage you all to check her out!

Twitter: @stormyvawn
Facebook: bigbutttheory

That's all for now!  Be Safe, Be Happy, Be Healthy and Be Motivated!!!


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year -- Same Me!!!!

I am not so sure how I feel about the New Year Newbies.

You know who you are!  I know who you are too -- because you have called, text, emailed, posted on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr the list goes on and on about how you are all of a sudden on some insane diet and work out regiment because its a New Year.   You have gone on and on about how you plan to lose 100lbs in 3 months on the latest fad diet that cuts your daily caloric intake down to 200 calories while adding a 5,000 calorie burning beach body workout to your daily life.

But damn, I gotta ask myself what happened to your fat ass the last few years?  Oh I know, you did the liquid shake diet and then realized you were lactose intolerant. Or, you joined weight watchers but you didn't really know how to add up those fucking winning points!  Ohh, wait I really get it now you bought Tony Little's Gazelle, the AB Circle Pro, and the Hip Hop Aerobics DVD set but, you didn't have the room for the equipment and your DVD player broke.  Whatever your reason I think I understand --- NOT!!!

None the less it is a New Year!  Time to do something new? Not me I am the same, my lifestyle change I selflessly submitted myself to in May 2011 has been non-altered, I have made no ridiculous weight loss resolutions, I have invested in no expensive aerobic exercise equipment or stocked up on protein drink powder and vitamin supplements.

But in retrospect if I had been thinking I would created some easy to tuck away exercise machine for you to buy and had an Ab Model do my infomercial, then concocted a fat killing sugar pill and a saline solution of placebos for you to rush and order.  At least you wouldn't be fat alone; you could have joined my fat pockets.  Well since history repeats itself I know what my project is this year, LOL.

Happy New Year, and Welcome to My (soon to be Fat Pockets) World Newbies.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Mega Bitch is Back!

I took a blogger break but I am back.  No major weight loss set backs as a matter of fact as I rejoin you bloggers I am a proud size 12.  That's right!!!!  I was a size 24 when we first locked eyes from our monitors across the fiber optic wires we felt a slight warmth a bond form between us.  It was what the romantics have romanticized about for eons.  That's right love at first sight!

Well, then like a simple stray puppy I roamed.  Did you put up proverbial posters?  Search high and low?  Well, like they say feed 'em and they will always return.  You fed me your comments, your highs and lows and I realized I was still hungry for more so I am back!  And I won't leave for so long again.

Hey, c'mon you little simpleton!  Dry your eyes -- tears of joy are for Wussy People.  I am glad to be back and glad to be fed by you again.

Stay tuned, I have had some true experiences that will be taking this blog to places that I have yet to even explore.

Love, Hugs and Ice Water Kisses.