Friday, January 27, 2012

Crimson Rage : Zero Personal Growth (This Week)

Confronting myself as I feel my inner rage kicking into over drive fueled by the Crimson Tide that comes to full surf once each month, I am reminding myself that my goals are more than weight loss but personal change.  Generally about this time each month  I am a complete lunatic, with verbal grenades dropping everywhere and armed with the rage of a Steroid Addicted Guido who didn't get to go tanning and cannot find the perfect rhinestone T-Shirt to go bag some DTF chicks.   (If you do not know this lingo watch 20 - 30 seconds of any episode of Jersey Shore and you will be fully fluent in Guido chatter; however watching a full episode may lead you to your nearest bar to fist pump and jager bomb the night away.)

Today I feel my patience level is about a 2 of 10, which means by the time I put on several layers of clothing to fight the blustery winter temperatures and battle the dumb assholes on the road, then drop my kid off at school I will be at a -5; and ready for war.  So watch out!

As much effort as I put into my outer I feel it is defeintly time to put some work into my inner.  I do not realize how much of a BITCH I am until I am hit with the Monthly Scarlett Letter.  Then I begin to wonder am I really this much of a bitch the other 25 days of each month?  My answer to myself is ... well, quite frankly, without question YES!  I think I have more power to control it when the Red Tide has ceased and my hormones and emotions are back in check. I find it far easier to shut the fuck up then.  So I ask myself: How do I change or channel this rage into a passion of another sort? Here are a few answers I came up with:

  1. Hire myself out as a Goon once each month to "take care of people's problems".
  2. Test Market Feminine Hygiene Products and send my results of not being able to wear white, ride a horse, bungee jump, or jog with friends comfortably.
  3. Hang out on school playgrounds and body slam bullies who fuck with nerdy kids.
  4. Test Guns for effectiveness for Smith & Wesson
  5. Come up with non-tactical, full out assault plans in case of a martial law outbreak.
  6. Bottle my rage and sell it to docile people on the Home Shopping Network. 
  7. Assist in demolition of vacant houses in urban areas with my bare hands. 
  8. Offer free PIMP SLAP and ROUND KICK services to wife's and girlfriends who think they have cheating spouses and significant others. 
  9. Share Stock Advice on which drug makers will have an influx in consumer purchases for the week.  (I suggest get some stock in whoever makes Midol THIS WEEK.)
  10. Give De-Sensitivity Training to the candy ass people walking around who cannot take a simple insult as negative criticism. 
For now let's just say I will have to revisit my "personal growth" next week.  This week I am strictly on rage-control; and in honor of such my Red Dress and Red (steel toe) shoes are most definitely in the wardrobe plan for today. 

Continue on your path toward weight loss, better health and a more prosperous lifestyle.  Do not let my stalemate set you back from any of your goals. 


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