Thursday, January 19, 2012

Reflection : Realize, Confront, Fight, Win

In the beginning, well ya know there is always a beginning -- 

In February 2011 I took my Bra Issue to Twitter about not having any comfortable bra's suddenly.  Like I woke up one morning and none of my bra's fit properly.  Having almost always bought my undergarments at TJ Maxx or Marshalls I blamed the non-fit on them all being "irregular".  I was WRONG.  In April, after several failed bra purchases I was venting to Ebonee, my friend in D.C.; she suggested I go to Layne Bryant (a plus sized women's clothier) to get fitted properly which I did.  

I took a much dreaded trip to the mall where I got measured for new bras thinking maybe my breast size had changed.  Well guess what?  It did change and so did my circumference -- I was a 40 DD!!!! Having always been a 36 D that's what I was buying -- now ladies I know you know the discomfort level I am talking about by having an unfit bra.  However it was not the DD that shocked me it was the number 40!  This meant I had gained significant back fat, without notice. 

Maybe, just maybe it was my late night food binging, my excessive consumption of alcohol, my lack of exercise, and my adoration of snickers bars; or a combination of all of these that was the catalyst?  Or maybe I was just in denial.  Well after forking over $86.00 for only 3 bra's I said "Fuck This".  And instead of thanking the sales associate for helping me, I bid her farewell vowing to never shop in that store again.
The walk of shame out of the mall was my last.  I vowed at that very moment to KICK THIS FAT GIRLS ASS!!!!  Walking to my car, I felt defeated.  I looked at my reflection in the store window's and saw a fat fucker that looked like a beached whale with a double chin.  I didn't even recognize myself staring back at me.  Unknowing to me my self esteem had been at an all time low.  I was spiraling into a depression state right before my very own eyes, but life's little drama's were blinding me from seeing it.  It was that walk of shame out of the mall that opened my Eyes.

Which weight loss plan did I choose?  I embraced the Atkins Lifestyle and a full daily workout, it works well for me.  So today before you I stand -- 89 LBS Lighter.  Down from a size 24 Womens to a solid 12 Petite (I'm 5'0 tall) I still have a tough road ahead of me to continue. But as you know from my previous posts I confront myself, I fight myself and I win against myself. 

My advice to anyone struggling to lose weight, change their lifestyle or just to be healthier is to find something that is right for YOU and stick to it.  We are all not meant to be supermodel thin, however the excess weight is a drag on your pockets, your lifestyle, your social activities and your mental health.  So I wish you only the very best in achieving your goals.  As for me I am still KICKING THIS FAT GIRL'S ASS.



  1. Hey Love, I can soo relate...I've changed my eating habits, I'm trying to work in a workout regimen but in the mean time I'm taking the steps whenever possible and parking further from the door (i.e. grocery store, mall, etc.). My self-esteem is at an all time low and I know it is because of my I'm going to fight and win this battle with weight.

    I'm also trying to quite smoking, any suggestions???? I don't want to pick the weight back up after quitting.

  2. On the smoking and weight gain .... that right there will be another blog/ struggle lol ... Im proud of you!!! But if you get any more confident we will not be able to stay in the same hotel anymore lol we can keep our big EGOS LOL .

  3. I can't get away from my pasta


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