Yet sadly after a year of lifestyle change, healthier eating habits, and a regular (sometimes skipping a few) work out routine; I am a Size 12. Glancing in the mirror and realizing that I am not yet ready to bear my all for the world to see, I feel like I have been on a hamster wheel for the past almost year! Last May (2011) when I declared Jihad on my Fat Ass I was a size 24 Plus Women's! That's like really obese for me standing at a mere 5'0 Tall! Today I am a Size 12 Average. And that is just not good enough!
I do not yet have a six pack stomach. Hell, I still have a few love handles left, and a mound of belly fat to disarm and annihilate. Last July (2011) I remember thinking: "When I am a size 12 I will be the perfect beach body size." Well boy oh boy, was I ever WRONG! Here I stand before myself 11 months later at a size 12 and I am still not yet ready to grace the beaches in a thong bikini! Hell I still need a cover up to my knees because my oompa loompa legs do not yet have the definition I so desire.
Today as I stood in the mirror in my bare minimal wear, a.k.a. undergarments I found myself saying: "When I am a Size 6 I will be the perfect size." I do not have self image or esteem issues, as a matter of fact I look overly fabulous the way I am right now. Well really, I think I look a helluvah lot better than I did this time last year -- ya know, in the 'beginning'. But really I just want to be NAKED!!!
I dare not revert to bad eating habits, or feel defeated. But really this is some serious hard work and dedication. I generally have a hard time committing to ANYTHING long term, it's been my SERIOUS BAD HABIT forever. But now I have been at this for a year I have Blogged, Tweeted, Facebooked, and Talked Shit ... soooooo I cannot quit. And unless I somehow hit the lottery I still cannot afford to be Nip Tucked!
Well, FUCK TODAY! I do feel defeated. However, I'm not disappointed in myself because I have made a miraculous turn around. I am healthier, and aside from a few moments of humane weakness I eat to live not live to eat. I even work out at a Gym, in Public nonetheless. But I still feel thwarted by this itsy bitsy teeny weeny little polka dot string bikini!
FUCK YOU FAT!