While the rest of the United States has been spending the last two weeks gearing up for the Spring Basketball Tournament of the NCAA's March Madness, I have spent the last two weeks in my own March Madness with my middle finger to the sky; playing both offense and defense against the free world. No need for brackets, I was clearly set to sweep the series, leaving a fall out of catastrophic despair.
March Madness' ire ended in a malicious assault of everyone and everything in my path. No one or nothing was safe. I was storming territories that had no chance of survival against my destructive path, I launched all out strikes against people who had yet to be warned of my ability to search and destroy. My tongue made opponents cower in fear and seek refuge from the onslaught of my lashings. Few, very few were safe. And even fewer went unscathed. I defined the slang definition of Bitch, and almost got it tattooed on my forehead (glad I didn't do that.)
TOURNAMENT #1:
On March 11, I was examining the fall out from the previous day when I noticed a post in one of my frequently visited
Facebook Weight Loss Groups from one of the moderators appeared. It was a response to a complaint from one of the other group posters/members. Essentially complaining about the use of profanity. The complaint read in part:
' I've received another complaint about the bad language on the board. "I may be old fashioned but I am really tired of hearing the assorted
"f" words and other words which may be deemed inappropriate. Just
because people use them every day doesn't make them OK." ' This single posting was like adding the last needed molecule of plutonium to a nuclear bomb and not directing the destruction path before launching.
3, 2, 1 BLAST OFF! My temper reached an entirely new level! I was outraged, seething, pissed the fuck off! (Yup I said FUCK -- but remember this is MY BLOG ha no censorship here; keep reading if you would like.) I began retaliating without discernment. In my (war path) mind this was UN-AMERICAN, and yet another form of mass censorship to force people into conforming to an establishment's practices that were without warrant.
Now, if you ask me "Profanity", and "Cussing" are a Universal Language; we live in America, a society where most citizens cannot read or comprehend beyond a 4h grade level; an exception is the NY Times and Wall Street Journal (for the so called intelligent) which
are sometimes use 6 & 7th grade reading levels. An average person may not
understand being called "contemptible" or what it means, but they will
understand being called an ASSHOLE. My point is it's a Universal
Language, understood by ALL. So although I was not the catalyst of the group moderator's written warning (this time); I was more than outraged at the UN-AMERICAN CENSORSHIP being placed upon the posters and readers.
TOURNAMENT #2
The foods were a'callin me -- I mean ALLLL of the food I know damn well I shouldn't eat if I still want to fit in my clothes! Anything swimming in grease at temperatures hot enough to gently brown a batter coated substance surrounding it; then dipped in something creamy, cool and smooth; or better yet TOPPED WITH GRAVY! Or warm chocolaty delight-fullness topped with ice cream and drizzled with hot fudge and served with in a bowl with a spoon. My food cravings became an epidemic. Refusing to give in I turned to vinegar coated lettuce a.k.a. salad. But everyday the food cravings became more agonizing. Soon I was like a baby vampire ... out for blood! I have not (yet) given in to the temptations of my savage thirst; but the food thoughts are still plaguing me.
TOURNAMENT #3
Too damn tired to play. The last two weeks of warfare and contrived offensive and defensive strategic behavior had beaten me to a pulp. I was no match for her arrival. She came came without baggage, she only held that sinister smirk that put me into a trance and took all my super rage away only to leave me physically unable to fight another battle. I tried to rid myself of her stare with a food binge; but me being me -- laziness reigned supreme. At work I would have had take a very
long walk to the 11 restaurant food court. Then I would have had to stand in line and deal
with extra people. (I didn't really feel like doing any of that.) --
With my 2nd Temptation I didn't feel like placing an order over the
phone and hoping they got it right, only to wait over an hour for them
to deliver it.
Well now that the games are over. I can say the score was 3:0 ... I somehow came out on top, with little collateral damage. So glad that March Madness ends on Sunday!
But you know what comes next .... April Showers!
Xoxo,
BG!
TOURNAMENT #3
